for the ADULTS, jokes and such

here is a thread for all those jokes we cant post on Dramaspot.
If you continue reading this thread, you verify that you are over 18 years of age.
We are not responsible for your loss of innocence.

That poor kitty!
I like the first pik though. ")

very nice piece of art willow.

http://www.hahahumor.com/funny-flash-animations/funny-flash-animations-view.php?id=50

Agreed willow, the nude body is beautiful.

I was PBd for the bottom one on grab

Well, these are not adult jokes, but they are jokes.
I thought they were too funny not to share.
I hope you enjoy them.



THE GOOD NAPKINS ... Ahhhhh ...


My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).


One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read
the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping "napkins" in the
bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?


Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for 'special occasions' (her second mistake).


Now fast forward a few months....


It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife. We were all given assignments while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.


When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a 'special occasion' Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!


My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.


Life is too short for drama, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly -- and for heavens sake, use the good napkins whenever you can!

Alice and Frank were Bungee jumping one day. Alice says
> to Frank, 'You
> know we could make a lot of money running our own
> Bungee-jumping
> business in Mexico .'
>
> Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money
> and buy
>
> everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance,
> etc.
>
> They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
> As they are
> constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.
> Slowly, more and
>
> more people gather to watch them at work.
>
> When they had finished, there was such a crowd, they
> thought it would
> be a good idea to give a demonstration, so Alice jumps.
>
>
> She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back
> up, Frank
> notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.
>
> Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she
> falls again,
> bounces, and comes back up again. This time, she is
> bruised and
>
> bleeding.
>
> Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls again and bounces
> back up. This
> time, she comes back pretty messed up -- she's got a
> couple of broken
> bones and is almost unconscious.
>
> Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says,
> 'What
>
> happened??? Was the cord too long????'
>
> Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, 'No, the Bungee
> cord was fine...
> it was the crowd!...
>
>
> What the HELL is a Piñata?!'

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want
> to consider this...
>
> Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.
> After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too
> tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
>
>
> They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to
> sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check
out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.
>
>
> The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
> He tells the clerk although it's
a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren't worth $350.00!
>
> When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists
on speaking to the manager. The manager appears, listens to the man,
and
> then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge
conference center that were available for the husband a nd wife to use.
>
> 'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

> 'Well, they are here, and you could have,' Explains the Manager.
>
> He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York ,
Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the manager says.
>
>'But we didn't go to any of those shows, complains the man again.
>
> 'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
>
< strong>> No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man
replies,
> "But we didn't use it!'
>
> The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to
pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
>
>The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he
says, this check is only made out for $50.00.'
>
>'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for
sleeping
with my wife.'
>
>'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
>
> 'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could
have.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!
Those are some funny jokes!!!! What the hell is a Pinata? roflmao
and the last one was great also...

I like all 3, lol

Just Knitting


A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."

"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."